Secret corners of Warrington

Warrington, in Cheshire, isn't exactly the centre of the universe. Capt Caveman says "common" and "boring" are two descriptors that spring to mind. However there are a few hidden corners which are worth having a look at. We were at Walton Hall Gardens recently, and I think it could be worth visiting.

Bicycle museum

Rose garden

Crazy golf


Peacock vs cockerel at children's zoo

And of course, a great collection of kambings! Can mali can hoi hoi!

Mercy Street/ Miro Kozlowski

Found a great looking anime by Youtube film maker Miro Kozlowski, set against a stunning soundtrack called Mercy Street by Peter Gabriel. I particularly liked the watercolour effects in the anime. And, well, seeing as Mercy Street is one of my favourite Peter Gabriel tracks, here, see for yourself:

Engineer jokes

I am a sucker for punishment. Just could not resist it.

1) Three engineers in the toilet during a conference
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When he had finished, the first engineer washed his hands slowly and carefully and dried his hand several times over, using 10 paper towels. He said to the other two, “I’m a contractor – we are trained to do things very thoroughly.” The second engineer washed his hand quickly but thoroughly, and made sure his hands were completely dry using just one paper towel. He boasted, “I’m a consultant. We are not only trained to be thorough, but also to be extremely efficient.”
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The last one ran out of the toilet without washing his hands, shouting, “I’m a client, I don’t get my hands dirty!”
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2) Lawyer, engineer and architect discuss spending time with husband or boyfriend
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Architect: I like to spend time with my husband, building a sound foundation for spending the rest of our lives together.
Lawyer: I like to be with my boyfriend more – all that hot passion with just a frisson over the risk of being found out by my husband is great!
Engineer: I like both.
Architect and Contractor: Both! How do you manage that?
Engineer: Well, I tell each one that I’m with the other. That way I can go to the office in peace and get some work done.
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3) How to tell if someone is an engineer
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-If they introduce their wife as "mylady@home.wife"
-If their spouse sends an e-mail instead of calling them to dinner
-If they know the exact height:weight ratio of their kids but can’t remember their birthdays
-If their work area is plastered with "Dilbert" comics
-If the only jokes they receive are through e-mail
-If their wrist watch has more computing power than other people’s computers
-If they have a row of pens in their chest pocket, a multi-tool strapped to their belt and a tape measure in their back pocket
-If they think getting the decimal point in the right place is equivalent to good interpersonal communication
-If they use a CAD package to design the bathroom floor
-If they have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
-If they carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to complete
-If they know the direction the water swirls when flushing the toilet
-If they know the difference between a girder and a joist
-If they have spotted and memorised all the infrastructure setup mistakes in SIMCity
-If they wear a hard hat, safety goggles, ear protectors, rigger gloves, steel toe capped boots and a high visibility jacket for gardening
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4) Everybody says

Everybody says: That cloud looks like a goldfish/ tortoise/ tree/ [insert item of choice]
Engineers say: Interesting cumulo-nimbus formation… it’s sure to rain later.

Everybody says: Oh, what a beautiful riverside scene!
Engineers say: My word, a cantilever arch bridge constructed with original Portland stone!

Everybody says: That dam looks impressive.
Engineers say: Yes, it cost £2.62310billion to build over 63 months, using 4,250 labourers from four countries, and broke the record in this country for largest amount of power produced by a hydroelectricity generator.

Everybody says: You see that artist? He made the sculptures at the park. He’s really talented.
Engineers say: Oh yes, I know the one you mean. He used a copper alloy that allows weathering to green over time with a small titanium component, forged at 3550 degrees C, for durability in the exposed environment. The footings are stainless steel short piles embedded in a 0.5 cubic metre C45 sulphate-resistant concrete footing.

Everybody says: Call the fire brigade! Mrs Ponsonby’s cat is up the tree again.
Engineers say: No need for that, I have a collapsible ladder in the car, and my safety boots, goggles and rigger gloves, though I shouldn’t need my high visibility vest for this.

Everybody says: Oh no! It’s broken!
Engineers say: No problem! I have a screwdriver. And a coat hanger. And duct tape.

Have a good weekend, y'all!

some tasteless credit crunch jokes...

Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rock in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days, Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut some of its branches. Yesterday, it was announced that Karaoke Bank is up for sale and will likely go for a song while today shares in Kamikaze Bank were suspended after they nose-dived. While Samurai Bank are soldiering on following sharp cutbacks, Ninja Bank are reported to have taken a hit, but they remain in the black. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared that staff may get a raw deal.

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What do you call 12 investment bankers at the bottom of the ocean?

A good start.

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What's the difference between investment bankers and pigeons?

The pigeons are still capable of making deposits on new BMWs.

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Quote of the day from a trader: "This is worse than a divorce. I've lost half my net worth and I still have a wife."

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What do you call a banker who irons 5 shirts on Sunday?

Optimistic!

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ok, i think i'll quit while i'm still ahead, and before any dreadful jokes about engineers get rolled out..... lol

time to tighten belt

As the credit crunch bites evermore, a lot of stuff is being blamed on lack of disposable income, or in some cases, complete lack of income. A roundup of local news items gives some of the following:

1) Sales of maternity clothing are soaring because some folks are finding alternative means of entertaining themselves (ahem!) rather than going out. A baby boom is coming!!! (apparently.....)

2) Sales of chocs and cake are going through the roof because people who can't afford to go out to restaurants anymore are giving themselves smaller cheaper treats.

3) The humble turnip is very popular now because it's a cheaper than 'posh' vegetables like purple sprouting broccoli, artichokes etc.

4) It's a good time according to Ryanair, because flyers and travellers will trade down to el-cheapo no-frills flights.

5) More middle class shoppers are going to Poundland (as the shop name says, every item in the shop is £1 to buy).

6) Shoppers are abandoning Waitrose (a posh supermarket) for Morrisons, Lidl, Aldi and Netto (el-cheapo supermarkets).

7) Kiamsiapers are making and bringing their own sandwiches rather than buying them at lunchtime. The sales of sausage rolls and pasties (like a very large karipap shaped meat pie) are soaring because they are usually a third of the price of a shop-bought sandwich.

8) Hugh Hefner has to "strip off" some of the Playboy bunnies as there are too many of them and they are costing his glamour empire too much.

9) The rising cost of petrol is doing what the goody-two-shoes campaigners and government failed to do - force kids to walk to school.

10) Insteading of surplus food being thrown away, leftovers are now making a regular appearance on the British dinner table.

that time of year again.....

Oh dear, it's time for annual appraisals again. I'm being "done" by my boss and I will be "doing" my team. Let's hope we get the box for good leetle girls and boys ticked since the appraisals confirm good/ bad behaviour in school for the past year, the magnitude of pocket money increase (or not as the case may be under the current financial constraints).

And the good leetle girls and boys that the Headmaster likes muchly may even get promoted to the big table where the monitors and prefects sit. But that may just mean they become a target for others to shoot at if they don't do their monitoring or prefecting well.

Oh well, as we say in Kambingland, people wot live in glass houses should get undressed in the dark....!!!

The one with the 22 supermodels

I first came across Sheila Majid as an artiste when I was a teenager, and when I moved away I lost touch with her musical output. Imagine my pleasant surprise and gratitude to find that some of her dedicated fans have uploaded her songs to that infamous video-hosting tubie thing. Was particularly tickled to see this one.



Good to note that Sheila's voice has retained that clarity of tone that first drew me to her albums, and unlike some other M'sian recording artistes in past years, she's progressing gracefully and still looks gorgeous!