time to tighten belt

As the credit crunch bites evermore, a lot of stuff is being blamed on lack of disposable income, or in some cases, complete lack of income. A roundup of local news items gives some of the following:

1) Sales of maternity clothing are soaring because some folks are finding alternative means of entertaining themselves (ahem!) rather than going out. A baby boom is coming!!! (apparently.....)

2) Sales of chocs and cake are going through the roof because people who can't afford to go out to restaurants anymore are giving themselves smaller cheaper treats.

3) The humble turnip is very popular now because it's a cheaper than 'posh' vegetables like purple sprouting broccoli, artichokes etc.

4) It's a good time according to Ryanair, because flyers and travellers will trade down to el-cheapo no-frills flights.

5) More middle class shoppers are going to Poundland (as the shop name says, every item in the shop is £1 to buy).

6) Shoppers are abandoning Waitrose (a posh supermarket) for Morrisons, Lidl, Aldi and Netto (el-cheapo supermarkets).

7) Kiamsiapers are making and bringing their own sandwiches rather than buying them at lunchtime. The sales of sausage rolls and pasties (like a very large karipap shaped meat pie) are soaring because they are usually a third of the price of a shop-bought sandwich.

8) Hugh Hefner has to "strip off" some of the Playboy bunnies as there are too many of them and they are costing his glamour empire too much.

9) The rising cost of petrol is doing what the goody-two-shoes campaigners and government failed to do - force kids to walk to school.

10) Insteading of surplus food being thrown away, leftovers are now making a regular appearance on the British dinner table.